Help My Friend Used to Be Funny

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There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate. -Linda Grayson

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It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. -Ralph Waldo Emerson

True Friends Like Octopus

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It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long, difficult words but rather short, easy words like 'What about lunch?' -A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

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Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway. -Greg Tamblyn

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It's the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter. -Marlene Dietrich

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Friends give you a shoulder to cry on. But best friends are ready with a shovel to hurt the person that made you cry. -Unknown

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You and I are more than friends. We're like a really small gang. -Unknown

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Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. -Oprah Winfrey

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Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty. -Sicilian Proverb

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Love is blind; friendship tries not to notice. -Otto von Bismarck

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Sometimes me think, 'What is friend?' Then me say, 'Friend is someone to share the last cookie with.' -Cookie Monster

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A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked. -Bernard Meltzer

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Between friends, differences in taste or opinion are irritating in direct proportion to their triviality. -W.H. Auden

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One sure way to lose another woman's friendship is to try to improve her flower arrangements. -Marcelene Cox

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Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and to have her nonsense respected. -Charles Lamb

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One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention. -Clifton Fadiman

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Friendship will not stand the strain of very much good advice for very long. -Robert Staughton Lynd

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You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job. -Laurence J. Peter

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Friendship is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warm feeling inside. -Unknown

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Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. -Mark Twain

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Friends: people who borrow my books and set wet glasses on them. -Edwin Arlington Robinson

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A good friend will help you move. But best friend will help you move a dead body. -Jim Hayes

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The holy passion of Friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money. -Mark Twain

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Friends and good manners will carry you where money won't go. -Margaret Walker

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There are some things you can't share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them. -J.K. Rowling

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There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money. -Benjamin Franklin

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The capacity for friendship is God's way of apologizing for our families. -Jay McInerney

I Like You Weirdo

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When a woman like that whom I've seen so much, All of a sudden drops out of touch; Is always busy and never can, Spare you a moment, it means a man. -Alice Duer Miller

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Life is an awful, ugly place to not have a best friend. -Sarah Dessen

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Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn't seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces. -Anne Morrow Lindbergh

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Good friends offer a shoulder when you need to cry. Best friends are there with a shovel to beat up who made you cry. -Unknown

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I've always said that in politics, your enemies can't hurt you, but your friends will kill you. -Ann Richards

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The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn't exist. -Aaron Machado

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Best friends loan out DVDs knowing that they'll never be seen again. -Unknown

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Friendship is like money, easier made than kept. -Samuel Butler

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If you can survive 11 days in cramped quarters with a friend and come out laughing, your friendship is the real deal. -Oprah Winfrey

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Never tell your friends, "I told you so" – even when you did. -Wendy Jean Smith

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When a woman becomes her own best friend life is easier. -Diane Von Furstenberg

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Source: https://www.curatedquotes.com/friendship-quotes/funny/

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